It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
POKER? I HARDLY KNEW HER
By Russell Lissau
WHAT IT’S ABOUT: Poker. And sex. And aliens. Anddouble crosses. And Sex.
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT: In the dingy backroomof a dingy bar on a distant, dingy planet, gamblers of a variety of humanoidspecies are playing poker – a universal game. Around the room, groupies andonlookers are performing a variety of sexual acts, but the gamblers are focusedon their cards. It’s a serious game.
The stakes grow higher and higher as the game wearson, until the lone human player gets a monster hand and bets everything he has.His beautiful girlfriend sits nearby, cheering on her man. He figures he hasthe pot until a horned, tattooed Tiedian on the other side of the table raisesby putting up a rare, jeweled necklace that supposedly has orgasmic powers forits wearer. He knows the human can’t call the bet and reaches for the chips –but then the human puts up his girl to call. She doesn’t seem to mind at all –“I’ve always wanted to do it with a Tiedian. Does your dick really go to yourknees when it’s hard?” she says. “You’re about to find out,” the Tiedian says,grinning lasciviously. The players reveal their hands – and the human loses.
The Tiedian takes his sexy prizeback to his quarters, which are filled with sex toys, fertility relics andsexual paraphernalia. She begs him to let her put on the necklace. He refuses,until she fellates him so well that he relents. They have wild sex,furniture-breaking sex. They collapse on the bed – and the Tiedian snatches thenecklace back from the woman.
Weary, the Tiedian stumbles into thebathroom to relieve himself. But suddenly he’s whacked on the back of the headby a statuette of a fertility goddess. Pull back to show the woman holding thestatuette and smiling over the unconscious alien. She snatches back thenecklace, grabs her robe and heads for the door.
When she opens the door, her“boyfriend” is standing there. “Did you get it?” he asks. “You bet your sweetass,” she responds, showing him the jewel. It was all just a ruse to get thevaluable necklace. They walk off. “Did his dick really go to his knees?” heasks. “Why don’t you go back and fuck him and find out?” she teases. THE END.
I mean would you really want to write for a paper that would black ball you for writing a piece of erotica?